"As in the song.", I thought. "He's a swift and I'm the fox." "A penny for your thoughts", he said. 'This shirt of yours does not smell bad." "I am in love." "You confuse me". "Something's going on with thee'. "It hurts when you're not there." "I love you. And I have a lot... Weiterlesen →
Can I afford bleakness (in entertainment)?
See, I had watched this TV show for a couple of years then. A year ago, that is, and it was amazing. Unfortunately, I only had joined the fandom when it was already facing a serious trend in quality declination. I remember feeling really upset about the things that unfolded onscreen and I sought answers... Weiterlesen →
I don’t feel like being creative – and that’s a good thing (maybe).
I haven't written anything for more than two months now. And I feel bad because of it. But also I don't. The reason I haven't produced anything creative is that something happened in my life that took my number one source of inspiration. Pain. Heaviness. "Selfstayed-ness". And that something is - you might have guessed... Weiterlesen →
panopticon
For the english version, see below the text. Bild: marmax Der Gefängniswärter sieht sich nicht selbst. Er wird sich nicht erkennen können. Deshalb wird er alle anderen zwar sehen, aber niemals auch nur ansatzweise die Realität ihres Daseins erfassen können. Und wenn ihm doch einer mal den Spiegel vorhält, wird er seinen Schlagstock heben und... Weiterlesen →
Note to self #1 Remember not to part with her
Remember: When you are angry at her and you say 'fuck it' - and feel like burning all bridges. Remember not to part with her because her words will calm you down. Remember not to part with her because she needs you, too. Remember that with her - you are closer to a purpose. ... Weiterlesen →
Ich schämte mich, als ich das schrieb.
Bild: Tumisu Ich war enttäuscht von mir selbst und voller Scham, aber an diesem Abend wurde mir komplett bewusst, dass ich es nicht alleine schaffen würde. Meine Mutter war da, aber sie wirkte viel hilfloser als ich. Ich saß auf der Couch, die mittlerweile mein Schlafplatz geworden war und heulte in ihren Armen. Danach sagte... Weiterlesen →
Broken cameras
I fear that my creativity is now limited to words that need to make sense. Pictures don't need to make sense, do they? They can be beautiful because they're aesthetic. Just like that. Because they don't need a story to be told as long as they please the eye, do they? I want my camera... Weiterlesen →
Vor zwei Jahren in einem Haus voller Spinnen
Bild: Myriams-Fotos Zurückblickend kann ich sagen, dass das hier so ziemlich gegen Ende meiner depressiven Phase entstanden ist. Ein paar Tage bevor ich mir endlich Hilfe gesucht habe. Der Entschluss dazu, so glaube ich, ist hier gefallen: "Ich muss meine Bilder zurückholen. Ich muss sie bewahren. Sie gehören doch nur mir. Ich muss da rein und... Weiterlesen →
Are you the sad one?
Another post that I wrote in English because it expressed better how I feel. Bild: DanEvans to my mother - who never gave up on me. nor will she. nor would I love her less if she would. From the two of us? I am the sad one. Or am I? 'Remember it's not cancer.... Weiterlesen →
2 years ago I wrote this:
I write in English sometimes because it feels more organic in the moment. 2 years ago I wrote this in a depressed state: "Monday, February 29, 2016 It pisses me off that I have gained 15 kilograms, that I stopped eating healthy, that I am unfit. When I have the feeling I know something it... Weiterlesen →